Tuesday, November 20, 2007

The Hippie-Muslim Cabal that wants to take away your Ice Cream

The cornerstone of the University of Wisconsin that is Babcock Ice Cream is under threat from a conspiracy more insidious than the Illuminati/Mafia/Québécois anschluss that sparked Celine Deon's career.

Members of the Muslim Student Association are joining forces with smelly neo-vegans to bring a little slice of hippie Sharia to the UW. Their success could spell the end of Babcock Ice Cream as we know it.


Because Babcock Ice Cream is made with Pork Gelatin...

Shocked are you? I know I was.

I always thought that gelatin was made from horse hoofs. Low and behold the fine folks at the UW discovered that the Hoof and Hide Jello of the equestrian beast just couldn't cut it when it came to producing the world's finest ice cream. To make ice cream that good took a real animal...Babe (or Wilbur if you're more into classic children's literature than you are into bad film of the 90's).

Just ask Scott Rankin, a UW-Madison associate professor in food science. Scott said it best about using pork gelatin in Babcock's goodness in a Sarah Nance's Pulitzer deserving Daily Cardinal piece Babcock ice cream's pint-sized problem:

Flavor-wise, gelatin is so flavor-neutral that it lets the flavor the milk and whatever flavor you add to the system really come through. It doesn’t bind many flavors [and] also attributes to the textural aspect of it.

See! Gelatin doesn't bind, and...whatever. Take that you vegan wannabes.

Rankin went on to explain the vital role that gelatin plays, "in stabilizing the ice cream and keeping it solid".

Rankin is right. We can't let Babcock Ice Cream become destabilized. Write or call your legislator. Tell them to stand up for Babcock.

1 comment:

R. Knapp said...

Jews don't eat pork either. I have yet to see anyone actively trying to take down Babcock. Those who don't want to eat pork gelatin just eat their premium flavors that don't have that in them like it said in the article. Do you go to school at UW? Or do you just read their newspapers and write your blogs based on parts of the articles you read?

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